It sneaks up on you when you least expect it. Driving down the road. When you are shopping. On vacation. Visiting family and friends. There is no warning. What is it? Grief.

Recently, our family was on a much-needed vacation after a crazy year. My mother-in-law had died a little over a month before leaving. While on vacation, it seemed that there was a reminder of the great loss we felt at every turn. From Bigfoot and Gnome merchandise everywhere to Triceratops stuffed animals that roared like Godzilla. The above photo was a yearly thing our children did with Bigfoot to send to their grandmother. Yet this year when we saw the statue in the store, it was just another reminder. This great weight of grief seemed to crush us and erase any peace or joy.

That is when you have to evaluate where your joy and hope come from. Does it come from relationships and things that are temporal, or from something that is eternal and cannot fade away? I have hope that I will see my mother-in-law again because she believed in and trusted in Jesus as her Savior. We have a promise from God that if we also believe and trust in Jesus as our Savior, we will see our loved ones again who are Christians. The difficulty is that they have left us behind. They went without us.

We see in 2 Corinthians 5:8, “Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.” (ESV.)

The message version says, “That’s why we live with such good cheer. You won’t see us drooping our heads or dragging our feet! Cramped conditions here don’t get us down. They only remind us of the spacious living conditions ahead. It’s what we trust in but don’t yet see that keeps us going. Do you suppose a few ruts in the road or rocks in the path are going to stop us? When the time comes, we’ll be plenty ready to exchange exile for homecoming.”

We need to remember that this world is not our home. We are exiles of heaven. This verse says that when we leave our bodies, we will be at home with the Lord. What a glorious homecoming that will be. We were created to glorify God and live out the purpose for which we were created while we are here on earth, until He brings us home. We will then be reunited with our loved ones. This is where my hope and joy come from, knowing I will see my Savior face to face one day and be reunited with my loved ones.

Sadly, the harsh reality is that not everyone will be there. God sends an invitation to each of us, but we have to choose to accept it and respond. “For God so loved the world, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.” (ESV.) We have each been invited, but we must accept and believe what Jesus did for us and respond by following what He told us to do. The Bible is our instruction manual. It holds the Words of the One who gives us joy, peace, and hope we each desperately need.

Jesus understood our grief. We find in John 11 that Lazarus, a friend of Jesus, had died. When Jesus saw how distraught Lazarus’ sisters and friends were, “He was deeply moved in His spirit and greatly troubled.” In John 11:35, we see Jesus respond to these emotions in the shortest verse in the Bible, “Jesus wept.” Jesus understands our grief and can comfort us as we turn to Him.

David went through years of difficulties and loss. During the dedication of the temple he sang, “You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness. that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!” David had times of mourning, yet with time as He turned to the Lord it was replaced with dancing. When someone mourned, they would wear a sackcloth as a physical sign of their internal grief. David says that it was replaced with gladness. He could not be silent, he had to praise and thank the Lord. We too, can dance again and be filled with gladness as we turn to the Lord for comfort.

I know the waves of grief will continue to come for many years. With time, they will become more and more distant. When they sneak up on me like a stalker, I will hold tightly to the hope and promise that this is not the end, it is not a forever goodbye. It is a temporary parting until I am home and reunited forever with my loved ones who have placed their faith and trust in Jesus.

What brings you comfort during your grief? How do you cope?